


pov

by living_dead_parker



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hinata Shouyou in Love, M/M, Miya Atsumu in Love, Songfic, hinata shouyou being a simp, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:08:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/living_dead_parker/pseuds/living_dead_parker
Summary: Shouyou had always been scared to fall in love with the man in front of him, and Atsumu was no stranger to that. Atsumu was very aware of Shouyou’s immediate hesitance at taking their friendship any further.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 62





	pov

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Ariana Grande's pov

**_It’s like you got superpowers / turn my minutes into hours / you got more than 20/20, babe_ **

The orange-haired man shifts in his spot, turning to look at the bleach-blond man who lies beside him. The warmth of two thick blankets engulfs the pair of men, tufts of messy blond hair peeking out from under the blankets. A smile thaws out the ice-cold sleep in the spiker’s eyes. His warm eyes shift down to the other man’s chest, watching the way it rhythmically rises and falls with each calm breath. He could sit here, in the cool of the bedroom, staring at the man next to him for hours. 

**_Made of glass, the way you see through me / You know me better than I do / Can’t seem to keep nothing from you / How you touch my soul from the outside / Permeate my ego and my pride_ **

Shouyou had always been scared to fall in love with the man in front of him, and Atsumu was no stranger to that. Atsumu was very aware of Shouyou’s immediate hesitance at taking their friendship any further. While Shouyou did like Atsumu, and while he did want to take the next step, he was terrified to do it. Atsumu understood his hesitance, and he didn’t question him. Instead, he offered the ginger some encouraging words. 

_ “We can go at your pace, we don’t even have to put a label on it or anything,” the blond’s voice filling the ginger’s senses despite how soft and quiet it was. “I just want to be with you, that’s all I want.” _

Shouyou will never understand how Atsumu could see him so deeply, read him so quickly. The idea was scary in its own way, but he doesn’t mind it. It comes naturally for the setter, and Shouyou can do nothing but sit back and watch as the setter reaches into the depths of the ginger and fill every crevice with all the love he has. 

Despite this, Shouyou still has his fears, unfortunately. 

**_I wanna love me / the way that you love me / for all of my pretty and all of my ugly too / I’d love to see me from your point of view / I wanna trust me / the way that you trust me / cause nobody ever loved me like you do / I’d love to see me from your point of view_ **

_ The arena plunges into loud cheers, finally ending the long silence that felt near deafening. Karasuno managed to beat another fan-favorite that was heavily believed to be the team to watch in this match. He’s tired but his first instinct is to turn to his setter. To look him in the eye and share just a sliver of a moment with him. And they do. A tired smile is shared, a high five following not too long after. Then, the words that seemed to change everything were uttered.  _

_ Bleach-blond and a black uniform fill Shouyou’s sight and he’s far too tired to think about which of the twins this one is. Too in the moment.  _

_ “Shouyou-kun,” the voice speaks. He looks up and looks at him nonetheless. “One day, I’m gonna set for you.”  _

_ And those words struck Shouyou, sending him into a spiral. The words woke him up, had his brain working again. Sending him reeling, questioning everything. He’d been chasing someone to set for him for some time now. He’d been chasing a setter and begging for one, and he’d been let down so many times. And here, in the face of defeat, stood one of the best setters in Japan, promising to set for Shouyou. That had to mean something.  _

_ Not too long after that interaction, the group had all gone back to the Inn they’d been staying at, all except Shouyou and Tobio. Instead, the two chose to take a walk around the area, far too excited for tomorrow.  _

_ As the two walk around, they talk about anything and everything...volleyball.  _

_ Yes, Shouyou loves the sport a lot. More than he should. More than anyone should. His love for the sport only rivaled by Tobio’s love for the sport. They can go on nonstop and they’re more than excited to practice with each other all the time.  _

_ But sometimes, Shouyou wishes the two could talk about something more. If it were anyone else, all he’d want to talk about is volleyball, because he loves the sport. But he loves Tobio Kageyama too. So, he wants to know more about his friend. He wants to know what his favorite movie to watch on a Sunday is, he wants to know what he plans on doing for his next birthday. He wants to know anything he can.  _

_ Deep down, he knows he created this illusion of love between the two. He created this false connection that in his mind goes deeper than it actually does. But how could he not when he’s noticed things about his setter that he doesn’t see in or for anyone else. The way that Tobio smiles at him, genuine smiles. The way that he listens to Shouyou and only Shouyou when it comes to many things. The way they bicker like an old married couple. The way Tobio doesn’t deny any form of Shouyou’s affection or nicknames that the team has given them. Shouyou’s the only one who can call him by even the most insulting or idiotic nicknames. He notices the way that Tobio trusts him with the ball even in the most difficult of plays.  _

_ It’s love. Right?  _

_ “Where do you see yourself in the future, Kageyama?” Shouyou asks nervously a little after their conversation had died down. Shouyou fidgets with his fingers. The swirling sky quickly turns dark, reminding them that they’re not back home and they need to get going back to the inn.  _

_ “Being the best,” he states matter of factly, a smirk on his lips.  _

_ Shouyou’s not sure what hurt more. The fact that he kind of expected that from Tobio, or the fact that he actually said it. Maybe it’s the fact that Shouyou expected a little bit more. Maybe something having to do with him. Nonetheless, Shouyou puts on a front, showing his best fake smile to not arouse suspicion in the taller boy. _

_ “Playing in the biggest stage, winning every game, bringing home the gold.”  _

_ Shouyou hums. Normally, he’d agree. He’d be bouncing off the walls and commenting on how he’ll be there too. How he’s gonna beat everyone and how he’ll be at the top. He’ll be the one to bring home the gold. Instead, his words and his voice deceive him as he tries to hold back- _

_ “And where do you see me in the future?”  _

_ Kageyama stops in his place and turns to look at Shouyou, a look of confusion lacing his eyes, attempting to piece him together. Where is this coming from?  _

_ “Well, I’m not sure,” he starts, still trying to wrap his mind around the question. Isn’t this something Shouyou should know? Why should Kageyama’s opinion matter? “But, I do expect to see you on the other side of the net, digging up my serves.”  _

_ Here comes back that cocky smirk that follows those equally cocky words. Again, Shouyou’s not sure what he expected and why it hurt. That was their whole thing. They’re temporary teammates, and one day, they’ll be proper rivals like they planned to be. So why does it hurt? Why does he not want that anymore? It was set in stone, written in the stars, handed to them by the cards they were dealt. It was their destiny. So why did it hurt?  _

_ “Hopefully by then, you’ll be so much better than you are now, Hinata. But we’ve both got a long way to go for that. I know we can both get there. Maybe, we’ll both be bringing home the gold.”  _

_ As they arrive at the inn, Kageyama and Shouyou go their separate ways, Shouyou deciding that he still needs a bit of fresh air.  _

_ Kageyama does see Shouyou as a worthy opponent. Why else would he say something about both of them bringing home the gold? Kageyama sees the potential and that makes Hinata elated. It makes him happy, he’s reeling. But at the same time, Kageyama sees him as nothing more than a teammate and possibly a future opponent. No, he expects him to be a future opponent. Hinata doesn’t have a say in it. No one does. They were destined to be on opposite ends of the court, they’re just temporarily on the same side.  _

_ Shouyou then understands. There’s no point in trying to confess his love for Kageyama. There’s no reason to. Their futures lead them in opposite directions. Ther futures leave no room for the other. Not in the way Shouyou wants it, at least. Kageyama is all about volleyball, and so is Shouyou.  _

_ So, he decides then and there. To pack it all away. Take those feelings of all things love and affection. To take those nasty butterflies clawing at his stomach and lock them in a box. To take any mental image of a possibility and set it on fire. He’s going to let go of any hope at love with Kageyama because it’s all an illusion he created.  _

_ He loves Kageyama, and Kageyama loves Shouyou. They just don’t love each other the same way. Kageyama does not love Shouyou the way Shouyou wants and he has to accept that. Their futures are too important and Shouyou cannot stand in the way of that. He can’t hold Kageyama back and he can’t hold himself back like that.  _

_ The next day, they win against Nekoma, but lose against Kamomedai. The loss was painful but they still wore their hearts on their sleeves. Shouyou made sure to hide part of himself, scared to let Kageyama down again.  _

_ He distanced himself not too long after, not having been able to handle two heartbreaks in a row.  _

**_I’m getting used to receiving / Still getting good at not leaving / I’ma love you even though I’m scared / Learning to be grateful for myself_ **

“Yer doin’ it again,” Atsumu speaks up, his morning voice gravely and laced with sleep. His words are slightly mumbled, but Shouyou can still make out what he’s saying. Shouyou chuckles nervously. 

“Doing what?” he plays dumb. Atsumu is not. Atsumu has his own insecurities, he knows what it’s like. 

“Thinking. It never does us any good,” Atsumu responds, a small hitch in his breath as he stretches out a bit. He starts scooting closer to Shouyou, grabbing Shouyou’s arm and pulling him into his side. Atsumu tangles his legs between Shouyou’s and wraps his arms around him and rests the ginger’s head on his chest. “Wanna talk about it?” 

It’s moments like these when Shouyou is beyond thankful for having someone like Atsumu in his life, as his boyfriend. 

Before Atsumu, but after Kageyama, he really did try with relationships. He went on a few dates with someone from Brazil, but they didn’t want anything more than someone to hang out with. He also tried something with Toru for a bit, but Toru was hung up on Iwaizumi, so Shouyou never really got his full attention. The two just decided to stay friends, even if it kind of hurt Shouyou. He eventually got over it. Even back in high school, he tried. He had a boyfriend for a couple of months. One of his peers from his class. They broke up, however, because they just both kind of stopped liking each other. It was amicable and nothing serious. 

It was after Toru when he really started evaluating every relationship, or almost relationship that he’d been in, that he realized, maybe relationships were not his thing. He was married to the game he loved, and that would be enough.

Until, one Miya Atsumu waltzed right back into his life after he was accepted into the team. It was like he was right back in High School. The words playing in his mind again as he looked at the blond man. His warm yet cocky smile, the way he walked so confidently, everything about him was captivating. Much like it had been back then. 

_ “Karasuno’s number ten with the crazy quick?!” Atsumu spoke, excitement lacing his words. “Looks like I get to keep my promise.” _

_ Shouyou smiles at him, already feeling comfortable. Feeling good.  _

_ “Guess so,” he responds as he straightens up a bit. “Are you a fortune teller or something?”  _

The two were pushed into practice and after that first, successful and shockingly improved, shot at a quick that Shouyou and Kageyama used to do, Shouyou knew that this was different. This was meant to be his place. This was where he was supposed to be. It’s where he belonged and Atsumu was  _ his  _ setter. Atsumu was the key. 

Two months later, Shouyou found himself pining for Atsumu. He’d never been treated so good by any of his setters. Sure, they were all great players, and Kageyama was his first setter. His first love, first heartbreak. Kageyama was the co-creator of the freak quick that they loved to do. Kageyama had a big place in Shouyou’s life, heart, and soul. But with the introduction of Atsumu into his life, that was all beginning to change. 

Shouyou was beginning to give himself more credit for everything he’s done, he’d begun to improve on his game and on the attack. This time, he was improving on it with Atsumu. Meanwhile, Atsumu was constantly checking up on Shouyou; making sure he was settled in nicely, he was eating and sleeping properly, that he was taking care of himself. Atsumu was always worried a toss was too high or too low and would make sure Shouyou said something. Silence was not for the court. 

Then after a night of drinking, the two confessed and Shouyou nearly panicked. Until Atsumu spoke and fixed the broken pieces. Made new pieces out of his own broken pieces that they could share. Shouyou accepted them and although the fear of not being good enough for Atsumu, the fear of holding him back was still there, he promised to not walk away from this. Not how he did with Kageyama. He promised to stay this time and not let go. 

Even when his mind tells him that letting Atsumu go to grow on his own would be for the best, he chooses to ignore it. Though, not before contemplating it a little beforehand. 

**_You love my lips ‘cause they say the / Things we’ve always been afraid of / I can feel it starting to subside / Learnin’ to believe in what is mine_ **

“Well, if I’m being honest here,” Shouyou states as he moves in closer, craving the warmth only his boyfriend can give him. “I’m scared.” 

They’re silent. 

“What if seeing him again takes me back? I’m not in love with him anymore, but he was my first love, ya know? And I hate that I think that way because I know it hurts you and it hurts me too. Then it makes me think about how much I actually love you. I love you so much it scares me because then I think, what if it’s not real? What if I’m just imagining things? 

“Surely I am because I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve someone who loves me unconditionally, and I don’t deserve someone who can do so much better. But you’re so beautiful and you’re so kind, and funny too! You’re like a dream come true and I’m scared to wake up and-”

For the next half hour, Shouyou rambles on and on about their fears, their praises, their feelings, and such. He doesn’t stop until he’s come full circle and he’s stopped with all the negative thoughts. Instead, he praises Atsumu and himself. He’s fine. 

All the bad feelings fade away and all Atsumu can do is press his lips to Shouyou’s. 

“We’ll be fine. I’m yours and you’re mine.” 

**_I wanna love me / the way that you love me / for all of my pretty and all of my ugly too / I’d love to see me from your point of view / I wanna trust me / the way that you trust me / cause nobody ever loved me like you do / I’d love to see me from your point of view_ **

Shouyou can feel the tears, but he doesn’t bother hiding them. He’s never felt love like this. A love that was reciprocated. A love that was so immense and passionate. Love that claimed him just like he claimed it. 

Shouyou will never really understand what Atsumu sees in him, he’ll never understand how much Atsumu loves him, or just how much he trusts him. He just knows that he’s never felt this way and no one has ever felt as strongly for him as Atsumu has. Shouyou wishes he could have that same intense love for himself, just so he can see why Atsumu stays. But the truth is, he feels the same way about Atsumu. 

Shouyou would love to see himself the way Atsumu does, so he could understand. But he chooses to ignore it, knowing that Atsumu is his setter. His person. 

Atsumu loves Shouyou and Shouyou loves Atsumu, both in the same way that they want the other to love them.


End file.
